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The Malcolm Effect ~ Iraq vs. Vietnam: Is history repeating itself?   
By Sam Wilke and Kevin Shedd

In a return to the Classics™, we are going to pit two of the most controversial wars in American history. Vietnam and Iraq. Which war was more justified, and was one more dirty than the other? For these and other questions yet to be thought of, we turn to the devious Lou and Al™

(The idea is originally attributed to Bill Brown and Chris Bennett)

Lou: I think that the Vietnam War was justifiable in the public’s eye at first. Considering that during that era the U.S. was pitting itself against Communists. All of Europe supported our cause. Also a little known fact, or one that is commonly overlooked is the fact that the French were fighting in Vietnam 15 years before we joined, so it wasn’t like we started the fight there, all we did was fill the void that the French left; besides we had to join after they elected a communist in their free elections. A communnist for crying out loud, and in free elections at that. That just wouldn’t do.

Al: Yeah, the only reason the French were able to fight as long as they did was because of us helping them. Vietnam, which was hard to justify, is nothing compared to Iraq. This war had only a thinly veiled guise of good intent, and most of the world was very opposed to it. In Iraq, we invaded them to fight Bin Laden and his terror network. Bin Laden and Hussien hate each other. Real hard to justify that reason for going to war.

Lou: Well, for a minute here lets think that we are Bush. Okay, terrorists have attacked the trade center, you’ve been though Afghanistan, and are looking for a way to make profit. There is the close neighbor known as Iraq, who is led by a really bad guy known as Saddam Hussein. You see an opportunity to off an evil dictator and stand to make a profit. However, there is always that nagging organization known as Congress, which will stand in your way if you phrase it this way. Wait! A great idea, let’s throw it under the guise that terrorism is active in Iraq and we need to stop him…Perfect! There is no way that Congress is going to disapprove this act of freedom.

Al: That pesky congress, always getting in the way of a good war. Johnson had to have the Gulf of Tokin Resolution pass to get his war, Bush just started making a war. Just goes to show that life is Unfair™. The Vietnam war was a dirty war, but Iraq, that war is just plain muddy. In Vietnam, there was a mission, to kill the evil communists, in Iraq our mission is what, to build schools. Soldiers don’t build schools and societies, even if they are the new and improved, kinder, gentler soldier. They make war, and it’s hard to do that when all this humanitarian crap gets in the way.

Lou: Maybe but remember, the mission of the war in Iraq is to fight the evil terrorists. At least there is some reward in fighting Iraq, look at Vietnam we lost, and gained nothing, except a memorial in Washington D.C.

Al: What is the reward in Iraq? Spending billions of dollars a month that we don’t have? Having hundreds of American boys and girls getting killed? Or maybe it’s the fact that 71% of Europeans polled think that the U.S. is the biggest threat to freedom and world peace. Those are big rewards, for sure. In Vietnam, we didn’t have Europe thinking that we were the bad guys. I guess that’s the price we pay for oil…er....I mean freedom and security.

Lou: Look, yes we may be spending lots and lots of money, but remember when we got that several billions worth of gold bullion. That is some reward, and soon we will be mining oil. Yes, what Bush did was wrong, he could have handled this whole conflict differently, that might have helped us keep our European allies, but he didn’t, there is no way of getting around that. So now, we might as well gain what we can out of Iraq and get out of there. Of course we will have to wait until there is a stable government, or international police or something. To pull out now would mean that the United States will have a terrorist run country on their hands that will want nothing more than to destroy us with whatever they can scrounge up.

Al: We got rid of our gold to pay for the Vietnam war. So now we have nothing. At least Vietnam didn’t declare us their arch enemy and spend all their time trying to plot new ways to kill Americans.


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