Don't Try This At Home: Wheelchair Racing
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By Lydia Alberti and Alexa Bradley
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After lasts month’s three-legged rollerblading, the two junior girls were compelled to try something a little more risky for your well-being. As you know, this month has consisted of many more eventful school activities, therefore making it easier for you to participate in harmful events. With Homecoming week and Halloween coming up soon, it leaves the door wide open for many chaotic injuries to occur; this being true, the girls had to raise the bar a little. During homecoming week, one of the dress-up days was ‘injury day’. Many people didn’t dress up, but there were a few who did, and just a couple that brought wheel-chairs. To Lydia and Alexa, this just screamed ‘RACE!’ There are many ways you can hurt yourself racing wheelchairs; jammed fingers, tipping over, rolling off a cliff to your horrible demise, etc. So they so kindly took it upon themselves to attempt this task for you. With Taylor Johnson’s chair and Ben Conway’s stolen chair from Mr. Riesterer’s room (which he is probably just now finding out about…ehhem..), the two girls readied themselves for a wheel on wheel race in the hallway by B-pod (which Lueck is probably just finding out about…right now…ehhem again…). Anyhwho… …after waiting for everyone to clear the hall and making sure the coast was clear on each corner, Brett gave them the count-down. 3, 2, 1! Wheels turning ferociously, arms scraping the tires, adrenaline pumping, they turned as hard as they could and used an intense amount of arm strength just to reach the finish line, well known as the FFA bench. Lydia’s wheelchair was shabby, so they decided to have a rematch. They turned around, exchanged a few devious glares and Brett gave them the go. After running into Alexa a few times, Lydia slowly finished behind her. The frustration was intense; all that horrible wheel-turning for nothing. Therefore, the girls switched chairs. The third time went differently. Alexa was straggling behind and turning the wheels wildly, while the whole time hitting her arms, most painstakingly, on the sides of the evil chair. Lydia flew ahead, surprised at the ease of this new chair. All of the sudden, a flock of older teenagers in blue suits and black shoes came swarming in. It was the FFA meeting day, where tons of students from other schools came to rally about farm type issues. Caught off guard, the two girls just tried to nonchalantly wheel their way about in a gimpy type manner, so that nothing would be suspicious. If caught, they would probably have been sharply reprimanded by one of the ‘superiors’ at the school. This in itself is a life-endangering situation. After a few more test races, the pair came to the conclusion that you should NOT try this at home. Wheeling away, red scraped arms and all, they rolled of into the abyss of the brodheadian high school hallways, having once more accomplished a very dangerous task for the well-being of your health.
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